Life as a PK

By Melanie Valadez

My name is Melanie Valadez. I go to the Highland Hills church in San Antonio, Texas. I’m 15 years old, and I’ve grown up in the Seventh-day Adventist Church my whole life. Church isn’t just something I go to on Sabbaths—it’s part of my everyday life, because I’m a pastor’s kid (PK).

My family used to live in Chicago, where all my relatives are. But when my dad felt called to serve as a pastor in Texas, we packed everything up and moved. I was only 6 months old then, so I grew up away from family. I was never like kids who got to spend their childhood hanging out with aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, since I live more than 1,000 miles (1,600 kilometers) away. Since then, we’ve had to move more than once—each time starting over and adjusting to a new church and new community.

Being a PK can be really special. I’ve seen people’s lives change. I get to be involved in such church activities as Adventurers and Pathfinders (I absolutely love Adventurers), helping with the worship team, and sharing God’s love. I’ve completed all the levels in both ministries, and now I’m a part of TLT (Teen Leadership Training). But it’s not always easy.

Sometimes people expect me to be perfect just because I’m the pastor’s daughter. They think I should never mess up or have any questions and struggles about my faith. I’ve always been held to higher standards than all the other kids and even some of the adults. And when things happen in the church—such as disagreements or drama—I often get caught in the middle, even if I didn’t do anything wrong. That can feel lonely and unfair.

For a long time I thought being busy for God meant I was close to God. I was helping out, singing, serving—and I thought that meant my relationship with Jesus was strong. But deep down I wasn’t really spending time with Him. I didn’t talk to Him much in prayer on my own, and I didn’t read my Bible because I wanted to know Him more—it was more like just another of my many church projects. I was knowing and doing so many things about God, but not really getting to know God.

I’ve been learning that Jesus doesn’t just want my help—He wants my heart. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be real with Him.

So even though my faith isn’t perfect, and I still have questions and hard days, I’m choosing to keep growing. I’m learning to accept God’s love, not because I’ve earned it, but because He gives it to me freely. I want to live for Him, not because I’m expected to by a bunch of church people, but because I want to.

To any other PKs out there: you’re not alone. And to everyone else: please remember we’re just kids too. We need grace and love, just like anyone else. I’m thankful for my story, and I hope it helps you in yours.